So...Do you love him?

 
We've been home for almost 2 months.  WOW!  Most of the time Little Man seems like he has always been a part of the family.  Don't get me wrong, we are all still learning each other and the new rythym of our family.  But, it all just works.  Then there are times like when your social worker asks you "So, do you love him?" that you realize that you've only known him for 2 months.  No one has ever asked me that with my biological children.  It's just understood. And, the answer to that question was yes.  I do love him.  Is it exactly like "A" - no.  Is it exactly like "B" - no.  Do I love "A" like "B" or vice versa - no.  They are all different, and I love them all.

We've all come a long way in 2 months.  Little man is adjusting so well.  Hubby and I were commenting the other night at the dinner table about how Little Man seems to be so comfortable with us.  We have been trying to keep his world really small in order for him to learn and feel that we are his family.  When we do go out, our radars are on taking cues from him of when he has had enough.  He has been pretty easy to read, and has done wonderfully everytime we take him out.  Of course, we make sure that everyone gives him enough space.  And, most of the time, one of us is carrying him which helps.

His language skills are extraordinary, and he is so bright.  When we were picking him up at the orphanage, the director told us that his language skills were off the chart and that he was very smart.  At the time, we were like sure, sure, sure thinking that she probably says that about all the children.  But, now we know that she was telling the truth.  He has picked up the language really quickly and can already string 4 to 5 words together in a sentence.  And, he seems to understand most of what we say.  Communication was one of those areas that I really worried about, and I shouldn't have.  Now, we aren't having deep conversations or anything, and we still have a long ways to go before I would consider him compentent in the English language.  But, man this is his 3rd language, and I am just amazed.

He is very loving and easily gives hugs and kisses to the family.  We try to make it a point that he only hug and kiss us.  It is all part of teaching him that family is special and that we are family.  Everyone else gets high-fives, which has worked out well for us.  He loves to be carried and just hugged on.  Daddy still sleeps with him at night, which again, goes back to creating a special bond.  I did it for the first 3 or 4 weeks, but I wasn't getting much sleep.  He moves around quite a bit, so Daddy has taken over.  He doesn't require as much sleep as "momma".  It's been good for me too, as I have some time where I don't have someone "on" me.  When we started, our goal was to sleep with him for the 1st 6 months.  We'll probably just play it by ear.  Right now, it works.  And, I must say is the most special time that Little Man and Daddy have together.  Little Man will just lay in the bed and snuggle as close as he can possibly get to Daddy.  It's almost nose to nose. 

One of the areas that I read about, but didn't really think about much was the "survival skills".  This boy is really self-sufficient.  Usually, this is seen as a good characteristic, but it can be determintal to the connection/attachment process.  He has always had to do for himself.  We are slowly trying to show him that he doesn't have to go it alone.  That we are here for him.  I see him making progress in this area by leaps and bounds.  When he falls or gets hurt, he seeks us out to make it "feel better" even if it is a little fall, and we know that he really didn't hurt himself.   He also wants us to take him to the bathroom - and most of the time, we have to carry him to the potty.  Now, in about a couple more months, we will probably start discouraging this.  He totally did this on his own in Ethiopia.  But, for now, it works and I see it as positive that he either needs us there or wants us there.

He is just a joy, and I am so thankful that God chose us to be his parents.  This is an iron-man not a sprint, and we still have alot of growing and learning to do.   There are still hard times, and times when I analyze everything I did that day wondering if I did anything to screw up one of my kids.  But, I am confindent that God will lead us and that his grace is sufficient.